the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
