Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
