I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
