If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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