So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
