very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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