Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
its not stalking. its research.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
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