He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
