I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
