Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
