Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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