their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
