carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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