what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
