So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
