My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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