My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
