She's JV to your varsity
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
