He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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