sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she peed on how many people?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
