he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
love makes seman taste better
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Randomize
