don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
