so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
