IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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