I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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