everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
