my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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