thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
