Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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