Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
