At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Is Oprah even human
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
