Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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