So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
