Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Ladies don't puke and tell
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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