Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
