It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
