i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
