hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
