I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
