OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
