Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
