I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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