bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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