I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
