No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I can't put those talents on a resume
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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