the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
