I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
