is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
