Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
