When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My vagina is very pro this idea
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
