Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Randomize
