I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
