why didn't you poke me back
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
