two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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