I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
