i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
